1. People & Relationships
Cherie Burbach

Going From Friends to Dating

By June 9, 2011

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About.com Dating Guide Bonny Albo asked readers recently, "How do you go from friends to dating?" This is a question I get a lot, also. After all, many great relationships start as friendship. So when you click with someone, romantic feelings can develop.

The biggest deterrent people seem to face when it comes to moving toward a relationship is rejection. There is the fear that the other person will not reciprocate the feelings, and then the added fear that the friendship will change after that. It's hard to take a chance and put yourself out there. You might feel embarrassed by admitting your feelings if the other person doesn't feel the same way.

My advice is that if you don't take a chance, you may regret it. That's not good either. I would rather risk being embarrassed than not taking a chance. After all, if your friendship is solid it will survive an admission that you have strong feelings for your pal. If your friend bolts because of that, maybe they just weren't your friend to begin with. Think about it, a friend won't want to hurt your feelings, so if they don't feel the same as you they will try and let you down easy. You'll talk it through. It might be awkward for a while, but you'll work your way through it as good friends should.

Follow me on Twitter where I'll chat about friendship news and ideas, and be sure to sign up for my free ecourse: 101 Ways to Have More friends.

June 10, 2011 at 2:55 pm
(1) Jared Jones says:

Hey Cherie,

I definitely feel it’s better for for people to be friends first, before being in a relationship, because you already know so much about them, and vice versa. And you’re right, if they are really a good friend, they won’t want to hurt you, and the friendship should have no problem with continuing.

I just wrote and recorded a song on this very topic about friends who want to move onto dating, yet they have been putting it off for so long. It’s called “Wanna Be In Love”, and you can download for it free on my website.

I actually write songs about this topic a lot (not on purpose…all the time). I also have a song called “What Could’ve Been” about two friends who never shared their feelings with each other, and live to regret it. She’s now in a horrible relationship. You can also see that music video on the website, it’s called “What Could’ve Been”.

I think this is a dilemma people will continue to have though.

- Jared Jones

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