Every once in a while friends don't agree with our lives when we try and change them for something more positive. There are friends that like us a certain way, and when we change (even when it's for the better), they are uncomfortable with that.
That seems to be what has happened to this person that wrote to Dear Abby. She made mistakes, then met a guy and wanted to change for the better. Her friends said she "shouldn't have to change for a guy." Well, true, you shouldn't have to change the person you are to get someone else to want to be with you. But if you meet someone that inspires you to improve? That's different than trying to change just to be in their life.
It's not uncommon for friends to be uncomfortable with a change in your behavior, even when that change is positive. If your pals can't instantly support you, give them some time. However, if they continually want you to go back to your old self, maybe you need to move on to friends who support you. Friends should bring out the best in you, not wish you to go back to your worst.
I support all my friends in their life changes especially if that change is for the best, but I do have a problem with friends who claim to have changed only to be revert back to their old ways and behavior.
It’s very hard to find a good bonafide friend nowadays, I mean someone who is there for you no matter what. I have one and I’m very grateful and blessed to have her in my life.
You’re right, it is hard to find a true blue friend. I hear that from people all the time, and can agree with it myself too. They’re out there, but you really have to look.
I understand what you’re saying about a friend who says they have changed and then goes back to their old ways, but change sometimes takes a while. Even when someone makes up their mind to do things differently, they may slip back out of habit, laziness, frustration…. so try and be patient with them.
I also get the sense that you’re talking about someone who may have hurt you and then claims they changed… only to hurt you again. That is different than someone who is just trying to improve themselves.