Recently rachelle1207 asked a common question on the Friendship Forums about a friend who seems to come and go when it's convenient for her. She writes:
I have I friend for almost 2 years now. Let's just call her by the name 'Ivy'. She was my classmate in my French language last year and then eventually we became close. We always send text to each other and go out after class.
After 2 months it all subsides, because she became close with a guy and that's okay with me 'cause it's normal. I understand her for being so distant to me.
When she had a problem with this guy, they stopped seeing and talking to each other, she then again became close to me. She would ask me to give her time, to always text her and to never forget her even if I'm busy. As her friend I gave her everything that I can. Again, we always find time and ways to talk to each other every day. Sometimes I even go to her place even if we're MILES apart.
Right now she's in abroad but before she flew there, she just suddenly stopped talking to me.... Read more
Her question goes on, and I encourage you to read the whole thing because I think we've all had a friend who seems to run hot and cold like this. When they feel like being friends, they call and keep in touch and we can probably barely keep up with all they want to do. When they don't feel like being friends, we never hear from them.
If you have a friend like this, you might wonder what you did wrong. Here's the thing: you didn't do anything wrong! That's the takeaway from friendships like this. You can't be friends with someone who doesn't want or know how to be friends with you. It doesn't matter what you do. The only way you can make sense of this relationship is to step away from it and surround yourself with good friends instead.