1. People & Relationships
Cherie Burbach

Ever Been Replaced by a Friend? One Reader Shares Her Thoughts

By April 24, 2013

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One of our readers commented recently on a popular post about what to do when you've been excluded by your friends. She writes in response to another reader, who shared her frustration about being excluded despite living her best friends.

She says:

"My so-called 'best friend' replaced me with someone else. I know exactly how you feel, love. I've been excluded, left out of plans, and when I do find out about plans, they are very reluctant about allowing me to go. All you really can do is go find some new friends, some who will treat you with respect and the kindness you deserve."

It's great advice, don't you think? Despite the hurt of getting left behind, if you dwell on it to the point where you've stopped making new friends, you're only hurting yourself. We all wish friendships were easier to figure out sometimes, but when you've tried and are left with a confusing situation that you don't know what to do with, all you can do is silently wish them the best and move on to people who will be a good friend to you, who will respect you and follow the Golden Rule.

This comment also reminded me of a popular search term on this site: "So Called Friends." I commented on this a while back that I think when you use this term about someone, they probably aren't your friend. They might have started out that way, but when they're not, you need to focus your time and kindness on others.

April 24, 2013 at 7:48 am
(1) Susan Baganz says:

Sometimes friends are there for a season, but it can be hard to let them go because we believe friendships should be forever. But not all are and when we lose one friend it opens up the door to a new one, for the new season in our life. Once we get past the sting of rejection by someone we thought shared equal affection for us, moving on and finding someone new, while it takes time, can be so rewarding. Your next friend might be where and when you least expect it (some of mine were and I’m so grateful!) I think when we use the term “best” friend – it limits us. I have friends who are perfect for certain ares of sharing my life and some for more. I need to be open to making new ones too because who knows? They might move into that “inner circle” of being closest to me in time.

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