1. People & Relationships
Cherie Burbach

Friends Exclude You: Maybe You Don't Have to Fit In

By November 22, 2013

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Many readers have weighed in with our question on how you dealt with being excluded by a friend. While many have shared their frustrations, one reader (Jii) took a different approach about it. After hanging out with one group of friends, she'd get close to someone, then they'd leave. Then she'd get close to someone else, and she stopped going to things and their friendship faded. She said:

"... A year after graduating, I had a reunion with these "friends" of mine. They still kept in touch without me. I was sad, but not bitter. My advice... You don't have to "fit in" or feel like you're "drifting away". Just get out of the river and find your own way to the sea. You'll find what you're looking for faster than when you're too busy chasing after people who didn't care in the 1st place."

This is great advice, and something similar to what I tell people who are frustrated with the friends in your life. Your friends, one or two of them, can't be everything to you. You have to get out and meet more people.

You might find that some friends meet a need for fun, while others help you reflect. You might find that some friends have more time for you than others. They'll all important. Don't get down when a friend doesn't behave the way you'd hoped. I know it's disappointing! We've all been there in dealing with sadness from a friend who behaved poorly.

But don't let it stop you from making new friends.


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