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Frequent Arguing With a Friend

What It Means When You Argue All the Time

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Arguing With a Friend

Sometimes arguments can actually make a friendship better.

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Question: 

A friend and I are arguing a lot lately. We've known each other since college, and we used to never fight. Now, I'm married and she's engaged, and it seems like every time we meet for lunch or have a night out with our guys we just don't agree on anything. It's not even fun when we get together anymore. I'm worried that this could mean we're drifting apart. I don't want to lose her as a friend.

Answer:

Arguments don't always mean that a breakup is eminent, although it can mean that your friendship is changing. With you married and your friend about to get married, you're making a transition where your friendship is taking a backseat to your romantic relationships. That's okay, and very normal. In fact, it would be weird if that didn't happen.

Change is always difficult, even when it's for something positive. So be patient with this new stage in your friendship. You and your friend probably both realize on some level that things are going to be a little different now, and this could be adding to the arguments between you.

Try talking with your friend alone, but since she's planning her wedding, be sure to pick a time that doesn't make her feel rushed. If she's already busy with things, a heart-to-heart talk right now may just make her feel as if there is more pressure on her.

If you don't find the right time to talk about things, you may just need to take a break from your friendship for a short while as you both make the transition into married life. Then, have a talk with your friend telling her your concerns, and assuring her that you value her friendship and want to stay close with her.

 

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