This is Part 3 of a 4 part online course. Learn more about the structure, length, and overview of this course.
Four Weeks to Work Through Conflict With a Friend: Part 3
Apologizing correctly seems to be a lost art these days. We hear people give non-apologies quite often on TV, in movies, and even in our personal life, but that's not the same as taking responsibility and saying you're truly sorry.
How to Apologize (or Accept an Apology) So You Can Move Forward
If you've talked with your friend and you realize you need to apologize, do it without hesitation. Take responsibility for what you did, and make a promise to work on things going forward. Understand the hurt your friend has suffered and be sincere in your desire to correct that hurt. If you find you can't do that, go back to Lesson 2. Apologizing is an important point when it comes to moving forward, so if you don't genuinely feel the need to apologize, you need to figure out why. Never just "go through the motions" when it comes to apologizing.
Some things to keep in mind:
- Act and speak as you would want someone to apologize to you.
- Avoid language like "I'm sorry if" and "I'm sorry you feel." Take responsibility. Make a promise to be more careful next time.
- If your friend is apologizing to you, be sure you are ready to accept it. Don't just say "it's okay" or "I forgive you" without truly believing that the situation has been resolved. Don't withhold an apology because you don't believe your friend will try to avoid hurting you next time. Give your pal the benefit of the doubt, and if they mess up, address it with them again.
However, if you accept their apology, you don't reserve the right to rehash the argument again. When it's resolved, it's done, and you need to trust that things will be better going forward. If something else happens, address it as an entirely new problem without bringing up the past.
Go to Part 4 >>
Four Weeks to Work Through Conflict With a Friend
Introduction
Part 1: What Is the Fight Really About?
Part 2: to Discuss the Situation Calmly and RationallyHow
Part 3: How to Apologize (or Accept an Apology) So You Can Move Forward
Part 4: Nurture Your Friendship So You Have Less Conflict Going Forward
