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Friend Set Ups

Introducing Friends to Each Other



Girlfriends taking a snapshot.

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One of the nicest things you can do is introduce new friends to each other. This is especially true if one of your pals really doesn't know a lot of people, is new in town, or for whatever reason has a hard time making friends.

Friend set ups might be with people you are friends with yourself, or just a person you know casually who you think would be a good friendship fit for someone else. Just like setting someone up on a romantic date, there are certain things to keep in mind when organizing a friend set up.

Let Your Friend Know You're Interested in Having Them Meet Someone

It's never a good idea to just set up someone on a romantic date without telling them, and the same holds true for friendship. Let your friend(s) know you've got someone you want them to meet, then work on a casual way to arrange it. If you know both people will be present at a party or upcoming event, then your job is easy. If not, you'll have to arrange a lunch or other outing so they can meet.

Be sure to give each person enough information that they can see the common bonds they share, and if possible give them a prompt or two to get them started with their conversation. Ideally, you want to be close enough to help them get to know each other while also allowing time for them to click on their own.

Blind Friend Set Ups

It's usually better if you're around to ease two new people into "getting to know you" conversation. But if both friends are willing to meet each other without you around, go with it. Give each friend the other person's contact information, and let them set up their own friendship date.

It's always natural to wonder how set ups like this go afterward, but hold off on bugging your friends when their meeting is over. Give them each time to absorb the time they had individually, and let them decide if they want to hang out again. It might be tempting to prompt one friend to "like" the other, but if the two of them are going to be friends you've got to give them the space to figure it out for themselves. However, if both parties are unsure about their meeting, it might not hurt to set a casual get together up where you invite both your friends so they can mingle a second time.

Be Ready for Questions

Since you've put yourself in the middle by suggesting and perhaps arranging the setup, be prepared to receive questions from each person about the other. Everyone wants to be liked, so if one person is up for friendship and the other isn't, it can be awkward. If this happens, tell your friend the truth in the most gentle way possible. However, if you're not sure what the other person thinks, don't read into the situation, either. Unless you're absolutely sure why one friend didn't like the other, shrug it off and assure your pal that you'll continue to be on the lookout for potential friend candidates for them.

If Your Friends Don't Click, Let It Go

It's disappointing when two people you think would make good friends don't really connect, but once you set them up, it's up to them to do the rest. If they don't click, don't continue to try and sell each person on the other. Just chalk it up to experience and move on. By the same note, don't feel bad about it, either. Setting people up so they can potentially bond is a nice thing to do.

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