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Why You Shouldn't Be Embarrassed to Admit You're Lonely

Everyone Feels Lonely at Times

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Feeling Lonely

Everyone goes through a time when they feel lonely.

Finn O'Hara/Getty Images

Are you embarrassed to admit that you're lonely? Don't be. Everyone goes through times of loneliness at least once in their life, and often, they feel it much more than that. Here's some reasons why you shouldn't be ashamed to admit you're lonely.

Admit It So You Can Do Something About It

The first step in recognizing that you need more friends is simply admitting that you're feeling lonely. Without that realization on your part, you may try and fill up that emptiness with things like work, television, or food.

Admitting you need friendship and a close connection with someone is the first step to finding it. Once you make that connection mentally, you can take the necessary steps to actively make your goal of having more friends happen.

Other People Don't Have the Right to Judge

What sometimes happens when you admit that you're feeling lonely is people (even your friends) will get judgmental. They may say stupid things like:

  • "Oh, I wish I was lonely! I'm so busy."
  • "I don't have time to be lonely."
  • "Why don't you have any friends?"

They might not even mean anything by it, but their negative response will make you feel bad that you said anything. When you hear things like this, realize that some people are clueless when it comes to people's emotions. They might not mean any harm, and they are talking without thinking.

Don't pay these types of responses any mind. If you can't find someone sympathetic to you, don't get angry with the ones who don't get it. Perhaps they've never experienced loneliness and therefore just don't get it. Perhaps they are just insensitive. Whatever the reason, simply ignore them and move on to people who are better at showing kindness.

Others Are Probably Lonely Too and Can't Admit It

Telling someone you're lonely isn't easy. That's why some people pretend they aren't feeling lonely, and instead may even laugh at someone else that says they need friends. Perhaps for those individuals, it's just too hard to get to an emotional place that is vulnerable enough where they can admit the truth. Not everyone is good at admitting their own feelings.

Also, some people worry an awful lot about what people think of them. They can't admit they're lonely because they are afraid of what people will say.

Loneliness Is Not Permanent

Loneliness is something you can work on, and actively do something about. It takes time and a lot of effort, but you can reduce or banish lonely feelings if you:

  • Get involved in more activities, especially things like volunteering.
  •  
  • Are open to talking to people.
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  • Develop healthy boundaries with your friendships.
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  • Understand that real friendship takes time.
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  • Take responsibility for your social life.

In other words, don't just resign yourself to feeling lonely. You may be experiencing loneliness now, but hold on because with time and effort (yes, it's hard work) you will be able to change the way you feel. What's more, when you start to work on getting out more and meeting a few more people, you'll automatically feel better even if you haven't developed a close bond with someone yet.

Don't Worry About What Other People Think

If you're already lonely, it means you lack the close connections you desire with people. You might have a few friends who you aren't very close with, or you might have no friends, and as a result you're probably feeling as if people would laugh at you if you admitted how you felt.

There are sympathetic and caring people in this world, and also folks who behave badly. But you can't spend your life worrying about what they think. It can be difficult to rise above the whispers of other people, but focus on your goal of having more friends, not on the people who don't understand.

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