Having couples friends that you and your significant other can do things with can add a fun and a supportive element to your life. Finding the right people to hang out with can be tricky, however. Even if two of you bond, it doesn't mean the dynamic between the four of you is going to work.
Making friends as a couple might be difficult at first if you've never had to actively work at it, but you can do it. A few of these strategies will help.
Attend Events as a Couple
Take any event or activity you would normally do alone and bring your significant other along instead. This helps show people that you like to do things together, which will give them a nudge for asking you along on a couple's night out. It will also help prompt new conversations with people in the group about bringing their own significant other along next time.
Some good events to do this with are:
Divide and Conquer
Is one of you the "social director" in your relationship? Oftentimes one person is more active in finding couples friends, so if this is the case get your spouse involved. Ask if any of his or her friends have a significant other so the four of you could hang out.
Say things like, "It'd be nice if we could go to the opening of that restaurant with another couple" or "We should invite your cousin and his wife over for a game night." Just getting your significant other in on the mission to find friends can help you get introduced to people faster.
Revive an Old Friendship
Friendships change as your life changes sometimes, and that may mean someone you've lost touch with could come back in your life as part of a couple. To get a feel for what your old friends are doing, check out Facebook or ask people who may still be in touch with them. Then, invite them to dinner as a couple to catch up.
Besides, Facebook, Meetup.com is a great site that lists a variety of activities you and your mate can attend. You may need to try out a few different groups before you find one that works for you and your significant other, but the potential to meet other couples is very high with many of the activities.
Other sites that could connect you with other couples include:
Be cautious when joining or giving out information on these or any online sites. Always put safety first when meeting people online, even if you're going out with your significant other.
Get Friendly With a Coworker
There are pros and cons to becoming friends with people at work, but it can be a great experience overall if you tread carefully. Aim to be casual friends at first, and get to know them slowly over time. Start by asking people at lunch if they know anyone who:
- would like to do a game night
- attend a theater performance
- go to a basketball game
- try out that new restaurant in town
If you say something like, "We really want to find a couple to go with us" it will alert your coworkers that you're looking for new people to get to know. Your coworker and their significant other may join you or recommend a couple they know.
Ask an Acquaintance Over for Dinner
Is there someone in your life you see once in a while at various events like church outings, kid's groups, or community meetings? Someone who isn't exactly a friend, but who you know socially? If that person is attached, ask them over to dinner as a couple. Or, if it's more comfortable, suggest meeting out for dinner after the event. Even if your acquaintance isn't someone you can see being best friends with, it doesn't mean the four of you won't bond when you get together.
Think About the Group Dynamic Over Individual Friendships
Perhaps the best way to find the right couple to hang out with is to open up your mind to people you wouldn't normally have become friends with individually. So often we meet people we don't exactly click with when we're alone, but it's those types of people that could, combined with their spouse, make a great pair of friends down the line.
Want more ideas? Sign up for my free ecourse, 101 Ways to Have More Friends.