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Readers Respond: I Had No Friends

Responses: 47

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Have you found yourself without friends a time or two in your life? Tell us what you did to change the situation. How you coped and how you were able to move forward, meet people, and make new friends. Share Your Story

An idea to meet people

Hi all, I have few friends as well, but that was my choice to leave behind toxic relationships & growing up. I'm starting college courses online, & someone already friended me on the school's social media. I did want to put out an idea for people who want to make new friends. The library is a great resource (no eye rolls please :-) ) Libraries often have classes & workshops of all varieties. At my local library, I attended a Green Cleaning workshop, I'm part of the Knitters' group (they also have Quilters & sometimes Papercrafting/Cricut classes). They have book clubs, even yoga & tai chi & fitness classes. It depends on your library, but they are a GREAT resource where you can make friends & not feel so alone. Also, a lot of libraries could use volunteers, so there is another option for making friends while helping out a cause you are passionate about. I wish you all the best & great, healthy friendships. You deserve them. :)
—Guest Kaia Rose

It's Tough

It's tough when there is nobody in your life. I have no one. Not one person. I suffer from depression so I withdraw the hopes of meeting a nice lady or making friends. I am a very nice and good looking guy and will turn 54 on saturday. It's tough knowing that .
—Guest Daniel

are more people like me?

Hello to everybody who was reading this article, so true , I feel so lonely sometimes its just hurts so much . I put on brave face , smile, friendly with my coworkers ( true about saying no couple of times to my coworkers who invited me to yoga( was very busy at the moment ) but also when I meet new people we exchange phone numbers , whey seems to be interested in friendship but never call back, i called but they did not responded so I stopped I got the massage so to speak. I guess people around me do not know I have this problem in my life , I m married for 2years,im 37 years old my husband is ok person, playing chess all the time, busy with himself. I hope this message could make somebody a little bit happier who feels lonely like me , I want to wish everybody to found a great friends . I wish it to myself as well.
—Guest Starlight

Pregnant with no friends

I used to be surrounded by friends. I remember how I barely had time for anything else, because I was spending too much time outside socializing. But somewhere along the road, things just started to change. I became pregnant, lost all of my friends and now I'm just sitting at home trying to find something to do so the time can go faster. I have no one to talk to, no one to go outside with, and I have started to find myself getting excited when I'm on my way to the doctor or my midwife, because then I finally have someone I can talk to. I am not lazy. I do things to keep me occupied. I just don't understand how I lost everyone so fast. How my life has dramatically changed in such a short time. I want to move, because it hurts living in a place where everyone knows you are there, but they just see right through you. I am going to raise my baby alone, and I want to start a new life in a new town and hopefully I will find true friends along the way..
—Guest Anonymous1994

No one left to run with...

I moved to the south from Ohio about 17 years ago with my wife. Her family is in the area. We made some friends at first, but some have moved away, a few have died, and some just turned out to not really be our friends after all. My wife makes friends easily, but even she says she just doesn't have friends like we used to. I am a musician and most of my friends are other musicians, but if I am not in a band I never see them, and I have not been in a band in over two years. That just compounds the feeling of being alone as I see where they are playing around town and I wish I was also. I never was much of a night person, so I don't get out much evenings unless I am gigging, which I am not. And work is really weird. There are many cliques, but people just don't want to let anyone in. So, I sit on my back porch with my dogs and just wonder, where did everybody go?
—Guest Oldschool

Friendless One

I've had a few close friends over the years, but for the past 10 or so, I'm pretty much friendless. My husband is my best friend. I have two sisters and they pretty much have excluded me from everything. One lives 5 miles from my house, the other in South Carolina. I'm 9 and 12 years older than my sisters. They are three years apart. I've reached out to the one that lives near me. I've suggested having dinner out, just the two of us. Nope. I've suggested taking our kids to the lake for a weekend afternoon. Nope. I've suggested a sisters movie night or a weekend trip to KC. Nope. I give up.
—Guest Red

wrong gender

I didn't have any significant, real, deep friendships for the first 35 years of my life. Then, unexpectedly, developed 2 very satisfying, special friendships, and a handful of "coffee friends". It was one of the best times of my life. Through a series of circumstances, I am down to one coffee friend. This person is better than nothing, but the ache of losing those special, deep friendships is crushing, especially because it wasn't because of any kind of falling out, but because they are men and I'm a woman and they felt I was growing too close to them. When all I wanted was a friend that I could talk about my interests with, and make laugh. It hurts especially because I walked one of them through some very dark times, faithfully -- then they got with some "correct gender" friends, and I got the shaft. I know from the first 35 yrs I have no hope of deep friendship because I will never fit in with my own gender and men will not risk being a friend with me.
—Guest guest

Tired of disrespect

I always had friends until I joined the Navy. I was traumatized and when I came home, my friends expected me to be the same girl. Not so. I was depressed & I finally got the courage to break away from my negative friendships. When the times were good, they were awesome. But when I was hurting and debating suicide and needing good friends, they told me to grow up. In the past, they were always trying to change me, from the way I walked to my clothes to my hobbies. They could never respect me for the individual I am and I was just a joke. I lied to myself for years, telling myself that they cared and were trying to help me. That their mean comments were tough love honesty. But I could not lie to myself anymore. I was tired of the utter lack of respect. And now I have no friends. My therapist thinks I am the problem of course and keeps telling me to force myself out into new places and situations, to set things up so "the domino can fall."
—Guest Lonely Rose

no friends

I read all the post and just wanted to say to everyone that it is not you. There is not anything wrong with any of you. Society has changed and people do not connect any more. There seems to be an attitude of "if I can't get something from you then I don't want to be around you". The idea of being a friend isn't there any more. Like all of you I have reached out repeatedly, but no one reciprocates. I would love to have a coffee friend just to sit and chat with, but they don't seem to exist any more. Life is very lonely these days and its sad. I have tried meetup groups too, but I think people are afraid to make real connections. I keep trying, maybe one day I will meet one of you and we will be friends.
—Guest guest

frenemies

I have found myself practically friendless not because of myself but because someone has gone out of their way to remove them
—starlightglimmer

wish I knew where all these people lived

I see all of these people feeling the same way I do, and wish I knew the areas in which they live. Maybe some live near me.
—Guest middle Southern Virginia

new city, mid-life, no friends

I live in a new town thats not very big, having moved from the state that I spent the first forty or so years of my life there. Its tough at this age to make new friends, especially when you live in a small rural town. It gets very lonely and I have no idea where to go in this tiny town to make new friends.
—Guest lonely in small town rural America

I am alone because of me

I have always had lied my whole life. Just for no reason. It is like an impulse. Sometimes I don't even know why. I think it is because I feel like my life is not good enough. I am very boring and therefore make stuff up. It really makes me feel disconnected from the real world. And it is stressful trying to remember and maintain all my lies. Recently I lied to a woman I am in love with. It was nothing major, just lied. But I love her, I felt badly. I told her. I lost her trust, friendship, love, compassion. So she gave me a verbal beating that I deserved and left. I am alone because of myself. I don't want any sympathy. I deserve this.. I just wish I could take it all back and learn to be honest. I hate myself.
—Guest remorseful

Still Trying

I have been in Chicago for 10 months now and no matter how friendly, open and fun I try to be with people and no matter how many Meetups I have been to, still no dice. I get a phone number and I am always the one initiating the call. Or I contact someone online and when I do keep up the correspondence the other person doesn't. One girl kept forgetting about me and stood me up on a friend date. I unfriended her on FB. I'm tired of Meetups and tired of "trying" I think maybe I need to just leave it alone and let friends happen. But I will try at my two new jobs. I get along with quite a few people.
—samuraiprincess1

My husband is my only true friend

Dear guest just want a BFF My story is almost exactly the same, when I fall for someone I fall hard and give everything. I had what I thought was a good group of 5 friends brought together by my idea of a come dine with me night, until one of the girls was being used, mentally and verbally abused by one of the others, I tried to help both but the abusive girl needs professional help and the other denied any wrong doing. I shared my fears with our other so called close friends, all if which refused to get involved and pretended it wasn't happening. I fell out with the whole group. Suddenly a trusted outsider confirmed everything what I had been saying and my abused friend disowns her abuser. All I did was try and help and I'm left out as the nasty friend who no one cares about. Ive had spinal surgery and will be house bound for a year no one visits. There must be something wrong with me or honesty isn't important in friendships anymore. moving soon i hope for a better choice of chum
—Guest 43 and friendless

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I Had No Friends

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