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Cherie Burbach

Friends Who Only Call When They Need Something

By November 8, 2012

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I overheard someone in the coffee shop the other day complaining about a friend who only called when she needed something. We all have one of these friends, right? We help her when she needs it, we attend the parties she plans, we stop over when she's feeling lonely, and we listen to her when she needs to vent. But what about when we need something?

It's a sad conclusion when you realize you're friends with someone who is more concerned about themselves than you. It doesn't mean they are doing this maliciously. Some people are just clueless. They want friends, but they don't realize they need to be a friend, too. How should you deal with this?

I prefer to believe that most of the time people aren't trying to behave poorly, but we're busy and clueless and just do sometimes. If you have a friend that, for example, calls you to invite you to parties but can't return calls otherwise, you can simply stop going to their events. Perhaps she thinks of you as an acquaintance rather than a good friend.

If your friend only contacts you when she needs a favor, be sure you're asking her for things when you need them. Don't assume that she knows when you need help. Maybe you posted something on Facebook, for example, and you're wondering why she didn't respond. The answer is maybe she just didn't see the post. If you need something, ask. If she can't be there for you when you ask her to be, then it's time to determine if she's a friend or not.

Related: What Is Friendship? | 5 Friendship Frustrations

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