1. People & Relationships

5 Things That Can Kill a Friendship

When a Friend Breakup Is Near

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Friendships can end over a lot of different things because no two relationships are exactly the same. However, there are five situations that make a friendship head toward a bad place, and possibly even end.

1. No Face Time

We're inundated with hearing from our friends on social media, but how often do we actually see them? If the get togethers with your friends are coming less frequently, it could make you drift apart so badly that your friendship will end as a result.

The way to combat this is easy: make time for your friends! Take some time off of Facebook if you have to, and make a point to see and talk with your friends in person.

2. A Lack of Reciprocation

Selfish Friend
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While relationships aren't always give and take 100% of the time, if you're failing to give back your friend will assume you don't really care about the friendship and probably move on to someone who does know how to be a good pal.

If you've behaved selfishly with a friend, take a mental step back and see what you can do to give them the proper attention they deserve.

3. Negativity

Frenemies
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Everyone has a different idea of when negativity is too much in a relationship. Some folks don't mind a little gossip or whining, while for others it builds up to the point that they just can't take another toxic word or roll of the eyes.

Negativity can take on different forms, from just complaining and having a bad attitude to verbal abuse or backstabbing.

If you've been negative with a friend, it's time to figure out why. Is your self-esteem feeling low? Do you need to get out of a bad romantic relationship, and as a result you're taking it out on your friend? Only you can decide what the issue is, but it's worth fixing. If your current pal decides to end your friendship, your negativity will make it more difficult to connect with someone new.

4. An Inability to Adapt

Group of New Friends
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The only thing certain in a friendship is that at some point, it will change. To what degree and how it will affect the friendship will vary from person to person.

With some friends, when one person's situation changes, they look for new friends who more closely match their situation. Friends that get married, for example, might look for new couple friends and spend less time with their single friends. When people have kids, they might stop inviting over someone without children because they assume they don't get what their life is all about right now.

There are plenty of reasons why a friendship may change, but the key question is how will you adapt? It's a good idea to continually make new friends, so when an existing relationship gets confusing, you can take some time away from it before it becomes overwhelming and ends. Often, when you've had time to get used to the adjustment, the friendship can go on, even if it's different than before.

5. Conflicts That Grow

Introverted Friends
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Conflicts don't have to end a friendship. In fact, they don't even need to signify that something is wrong. And yet it seems very difficult for people to talk things through in a healthy way. Common mistakes that people make with conflicts include:

  • Pretending that nothing is wrong, but then letting the problem grow.
  • Shutting down the friend that tries to talk to them.
  • Failing to bring up an issue and then getting so annoyed with a friend as a result that they begin to badmouth the friend.
  • Ignoring clues that a friend has had enough with certain behaviors.

Think of conflict as a desire to make things better in your friendship. Approach disagreements with the goal of coming to an understanding, not trying to change someone's mind or get your way. Remember that how you say something is just as important as what you say.

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