Anyone can find themselves without friends a time or two in their life, but if it's consistently hard for you to make friends, you need to look at your own behavior. While having no friends is actually more common than you might assume, you can take comfort in the fact that this is a problem you can do something about.
The first step is being more self-aware and having a good grasp on the Golden Rule and general rules of etiquette. Once you've got a handle on these things, take a look at some of these common reasons you might be without friends.
1. Selfish Behavior
If you feel that friends should be the ones to help you and talk about your problems first before you reciprocate, you might have a problem with selfishness. Selfish behavior makes people shy away from having a relationship with you because friendship should be reciprocal.
While it isn't always a perfectly divided give and take, you should have a natural desire to be supportive and help your friends. This also means that you should make the effort to call them, nurture the friendship, keep up with what's going on in their lives, and in general, be interested in their well-being.
2. Bad Personal Hygiene
Perhaps the reason you have no friends is bad personal hygiene. While a good friend would want to help you and tell you about body odor or bad breath, new friends won't do this because they don't want to offend you. This means it's up to you to take a look at your personal hygiene and see if there might be a problem.
Be honest with yourself here. If you've been without friends for a long time, you may have gotten comfortable wearing the same pair of sweat pants over and over without washing or skipping a few showers. But if you're in the market for friends, you need to get better about your own personal hygiene. Make sure that you:
- Bathe every day (and wash hair)
- Trim nails regularly (and stop biting them)
- Brush teeth twice a day
- Have gum or mints handy when you have a smelly lunch
- Wash your hands frequently throughout the day, especially after using the bathroom, digging in the dirt, before and after meals, and during other common causes that can leave stains and odor on your hands
- Choose freshly laundered clothing, making sure it is ironed and presentable
- Get regular haircuts
- Watch out for foot odor and update footwear regularly so you don't carry smells in somewhere on your shoes
3. You're Unpleasant to Be Around for Long Periods of Time
Maybe the problem isn't that you're selfish, but that you're obnoxious. Sometimes these qualities both exist together, and sometimes not. An obnoxious person is one who:
- Talks over people
- Does things that embarrasses themselves or their friends
- Gossips too much
- Doesn't get when the spotlight is on someone else
These types of people just don't get how they come off, and as a result struggle to make real friends. Chances are they'll have friends for a while but the friendships won't stick because the more time people spend with them, the more unpleasant it is.
4. You've Got a Bad Temper
No one likes to be around someone with a bad temper. Having a friend that blows up at things makes people feel on edge, afraid to truly relax and be themselves. One or two blow ups, even if it is not directed at them, makes people shy away from forming friendships.
The only way to truly get a handle on your temper is to work on it. Seek out the help of a professional if you need to so you can make real progress on how you handle emotions.
5. You're Too Clingy
6. Too Introverted
It's great to enjoy your alone time, but if you like it more than you do being with others, it will show. Make an effort to show people that you're interested in them and be proactive in inviting new friends to do things. Be part of the conversation when you're out with people and watch for any behavior that could appear aloof to others.
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