It's the small things that matter most when people are trying to meet friends and maintain friendships. The way you say something, hesitate before you congratulate someone, or carry yourself all give off a vibe that affects the friendships you formulate.
To put it simply, a positive attitude makes a huge difference when it comes to having friends. This isn't to say that you should walk around with a fake smile on your face. Phony attitudes don't work when it comes to friendship. Authenticity does. Here are some quotes to help you be genuinely positive in life and in friendships.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people."
I'll admit it, I'm guilty of wondering why when people hurt me. When they are kind to me and do nice things, I appreciate it but I don't wonder why. I think that is the reason I enjoy this quote so much. When it comes to friendship, people will disappoint and hurt you. It can be shocking to know that a friend has betrayed you.
But instead of letting that betrayal change the way you approach friendship, you can focus on the good people in your life. The ones that have been there for you and supported you. If you change your focus to the good parts of friendship, it will actually help you as you meet new people because you'll be offering up the best parts of your personality, as opposed to the angry and bitter questions that haunt you.
Thomas Alva Edison
"Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
Friendships take work, and this quote by Edison reminds me that meeting new people isn't always an easy thing. To find new friends, you have to be involved in activities, move out of your comfort zone, and make conversation with people you don't know very well yet. That is a lot of work. But with friendships, there are no quick fixes.
The same holds true with maintaining friendships. Working through conflict, apologizing, supporting your friend, and knowing when to move on from them is a lot of effort. But anything in life worth doing takes work, and in the case of friendships, it's absolutely worth it.
"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same."
This is a quote I printed off years ago and attached to my computer. It's still there, and every day I read it and realize how true it is. Just think about all those folks who complain and whine about people. They are giving their negativity a lot of energy.
Now, we all want to vent from time to time, or talk things through when we're sad or disappointed. But what I'm talking about here are the folks who give negativity so much effort, they are too preoccupied to think positively. They are spending as much work making themselves miserable as they would if they focused on happiness.
Chances are, a person like this will be disappointed at the friends in their life, also. They may wonder why they don't have more friends, or why the people in their life don't treat them well. They may attract negative friends to them, or just look for the bad in people. Either way, they are spending a whole lot of effort just to be miserable. It doesn't have to be that way.
"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude."
This quote really hits home when you think of friendships, especially when it comes to arguments. Conflict is actually a healthy thing if you handle it correctly. A lot of comes with attitude and reflection. If you can talk about the things that hurt you with a friend and do it in a kind way, you'll have an easier time working things out.
The same is true when you're the one that hurt someone. Even if you didn't mean it, you need to acknowledge your friend's feelings and listen to what they have to say so you can both move on. Attitude means a lot in conflict situations.
"When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal."
This quote reminds me that when it comes to building friendships, sometimes you meet people who just aren't interested in you. It can be disappointing, but you know what? There are people who would like to be your friend, so when you come across those individuals who don't seem to care, move on and don't give them a second thought. When you find a friend or two that you really adore, it will make all those negative experiences just fade away.
"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
If anyone else had said this, I would have ignored the quote. But Winston Churchill, to me, is a larger than life figure. Just knowing how significant he thought attitude was makes quite an impact, doesn't it? In addition, he sums up the importance of attitude really well. Being more grateful, gently honest, and positive can change your relationships in a really big way.